Hi,

Have you heard the saying “Life is short – use good dishes?” Well, one particular morning I decided that there are more important luxuries than pretty tableware…

The realization came to me as I was reading a note a friend of mine sent me which contained the following quotation about life:

Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
~Hans Christian Anderson

I’m sure you can guess where I was. If I’d had a pen, I could have written this post on that paper …What was I thinking buying that stuff?

There are lots of ways to save money. Ways that make us feel in control of our finances and good about ourselves. These are great things to do. But some luxuries are necessary, aren’t they?

Anyway, back to my point … Life is short. How many times have I thought that it’s the big moments that really matter? If you have kids, maybe it was the birth of your children. For someone else it might be running into a burning building to save someone. And you’re right, times like these times are unforgettable and important. But trust me on this: it is the tiny fleeting moments that build your history.

Look, life is not just short, it is a series of moments. And the key to a rich life is for you to find happiness, laughter and joy in as many of these brief moments as possible.

Here are a few of my own personal tips for enriching the small moments in your life:

- Use good toilet paper. This one is almost vital!

- Smile at your children when they walk into the room. Everyone needs to feel that their parents are proud of them just for being born

- Notice the good luck in your day. You know that feeling you get when you pull on a pair of pants and discover you have left yourself ten dollars in the pocket? The average day has at least one moment like this. Welcome them, be aware of them, and enjoy them

- Buy six handmade chocolates rather than a block of mass-produced. In other words, buy the very best quality you can afford, and remember that you are worth it

- When your favorite song is one the radio, sing to it. Loudly. (And if you’re in the car, let them stare – it might make them smile). Singing not only can make you laugh, but it also releases endorphins, one of the body’s feel-good chemicals

- Be grateful for time stuck in traffic. You have a little time away from the world, to listen to an audio book or simply daydream. Stressing won’t make the cars move any faster, so take it as a mini-vacation

Waiting until all the bills are paid, until the timing is just right, or until the weekend comes around to be happy means letting hundreds of chances for pleasure and happiness slip by.

Make today be a day where you live in the moment and experience the power of now. And have a three-ply day.

Love to hear your comments, below.

Ciao!

Taylor

Hi,

I was looking out one of our windows this morning and was reminded again of how badly we need to clean our gutters.

And just at that moment it hit me it’s probably a great analogy for our own personal development and well-being…

Gutters serve a purpose. See, they’re conduits… clean gutters channel water from your roof into the down spout and away from your home. In other words, they keep you protected, clean, dry and secure. And if you think about it, these conduits are actually pretty important for keeping your nest, your castle, your home, from rotting away.

If you let them go uncleared for a little while is okay – you know how we all get busy with other things. But let them go for a long time, and that’s how you spell trouble. The gutters get all clogged up, mosquitoes lay their eggs which then become squirming larvae, leaves and other debris start to rot and get really nasty and stinky… and eventually there is nowhere for the water to go but into your roof (and maybe even into your living room).

And ignore them for a while and you also start to do that other thing…

You know that thing I’m talking about… How you know you should do something about it, but you know it’s going to be a big job, so you put it off?

…And how you get that squirmy feeling whenever you think about it, so you exhaust yourself trying NOT to think about it. Don’t tell me you never felt that, right?

It’s safe to say there are plenty of things in your life that are a lot more important to your happiness than cleaning gutters.

Still, you probably have your share of chores and to-dos that battle for your attention, don’t you?

For me, the trick to cleaning out filthy gutters (or to getting any nasty job done) is to limit the amount of time you are allowed to spend on it. Yes, limit it. Only give yourself 25 minutes to clean out one section. After that, you must stop. Trust me, you will be surprised how much more you get done if you set a time limit. Not only that, you’ll be surprised how much more prepared you are to get up on that ladder for another 25 minutes tomorrow.

Listen, the same goes for clearing out your mind, or subconscious habits. To have a healthy mind, it’s good to clear your mind. So set an appointment for yourself, even a small block of time, and do what you need to do. Then get back to your day.

Maybe it sounds crazy, but it works.

One small step towards tidying up the loose ends in your life, and you will feel eight feet tall and bulletproof.

Now… where did I leave that ladder?

Ciao!

Taylor

Hi,

It’s amazing how small an agent of change can be…

For me, it recently was a tiny fruit fly that motivated me to make a change in my life.

I’ve talked about motivation in earlier posts; and what really gets you up and moving. This time for me-of all things-it was bugs near my fruit bowl.

Picture this… It’s summertime, and fruit flies are multiplying all over the joint! Naturally we’re to blame because we see so many delicious fruits and can’t resist piling it up in the kitchen…

…And wouldn’t you know these eager little critters can’t resist helping us eat it.

See, the “fruit fly situation” in my house just got unbearable. Actually, out of control. They gravitate towards anything that has even a hint of sweetness or sugar to it.

They converge onto a spoon.

If you leave a bottle of wine open, they swarm to the rim or just plunge right in.

I forgot how quickly these suckers can procreate and multiply.

…It kind of makes me want to brush up on my biology 101 to see how long it actually takes them to create more offspring. I’d say it’s about fifteen seconds? And BAM!, a thousand more pesky Drosophila Melanogasters now fluffing around my fruit bowl.

Anyway, as I was saying, you get that it got a little out of control, right? It reaches the point where they are everywhere. They’re in your face, you walk out of the kitchen to the living room or wherever, and there they are, fruit flies galore, more friendly little guys waiting for you.

You finish putting away the dishes, head on over to the living room to ease into the couch, and there again, more fruit flies swarming around hunting for their next meal. So just when I am kind of at my wit’s end-at my turning point really-my wife has the great simple suggestion of putting the fruit in the fridge.

This is why wives were invented…

…We get ourselves all tangled up, then along comes your beloved and points out the blindingly obvious!

I took her advice (all the while telling her I would have thought of it myself at any moment) and lo and behold, within the span of a few days, we dramatically cut back on the fruit fly population.

Now think back to what we talked about in a quiz some time ago on what makes us do the things we know we shouldn’t be doing – instead of doing the things we should be doing…

Let me ask you again, what is it that makes one person stay on course and keeps another person off track?

Remember?

The answer was “motivation.”

Why did the fruit flies bother me so much? The answer to that isn’t really important. What’s more important is that they bothered me enough that I reached a tipping point-the point at which my momentum for change was unstoppable-and suddenly I was motivated to do something about it.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then motivation is the father of change. I was motivated to save my fruit. Not to throw it away (I like fruit!), but to eat it and to share it-just not with the fruit flies. And truth be told, I also wanted to save my sanity.

And there is the basic principle:

Something bothers you, perhaps for a long time without you being consciously aware of it.

Then in a single moment you cross a threshold.

Now your problem has new meaning, and you begin to call the solution to you. And presto, life change!

Something to think about isn’t it?

…I’d love to hear about a similar experience you’ve had.

Ciao!

Taylor

You may have heard of the 7 Areas of Life?

If you’re new to the concept (welcome, by the way) the 7 Areas of Life are:

Money, Time, Relationships, Health, Emotions, Work or Career, and Greater Contribution.

Each of these 7 Areas are like pillars that support your happiness and well-being. When one is weak and crumbles, your well-being caves in.

If you sit back and think about it, you might agree that most of us work on one, two, or at best, three of these pillars, right?

Some pour their heart and soul into their jobs. Ever found yourself concentrating on your career …identifying yourself with your job title or how much you earn, only feeling fulfilled when your work life is going well? …I know I have.

Others focus predominantly on their relationships. For these people, family and friends are the most important of the seven Areas, and they do not feel like a whole person if they’re not always focused putting others first.

By now maybe you can see how you favor one or two Areas the most. And likewise you might just as easily have clear in your mind the Areas you neglect… say maybe your health (when you eat out a lot to save time and energy), your money (when you spend money on things you know you don’t really need) or maybe your relationships (if you get caught up in a rat race of life bound with responsibilities)?

Don’t feel bad about the Areas you neglect, because we all do it. Just promise me you’ll avoid making the mistake of assuming that two or three strong “pillars” will make up for the rest. Because if you do, sooner or later the roof of your inner house will cave in, there is no doubt (I’ve been there and got the t-shirt).

And maybe it already has caved in… Perhaps right now you as you read what I’m saying there’s an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of your stomach – the one that signals now is time to change some things in your life…

…time for your Personal Renaissance.

Remember the Renaissance? It was the complete social and cultural change that took place in Europe from the 14th to the 17th century. The Renaissance was a time of great leaps forward in politics, art and culture. It was also the  time when the Renaissance Man (or Person!) was first recognized as a role model for us all.

Renaissance literally means “rebirth” and a Renaissance Person is someone who is balanced. An “all-rounder” of a person, who is equally devoted to work and relaxation, art and science, discovering and creating, giving and receiving, the outer and inner world.

I bring this up because when you pay more attention to the 7 Areas of Life, you can experience a similar rebirth, as a more complete and happy person – your own 21st Century Personal Renaissance.

And the beauty of it is that you can kick off this process in just seven days.

Really.

Here’s how…

First I’m going to list the 7 Areas in order of importance…

Actually, that’s not quite right. One Area is no more important than another. And to tell you the truth, even that’s not totally accurate. But they do have a logical sequence…

For instance, there’s no point developing your higher mind if you are lethargic and depressed from bad food and lack of exercise.

Okay, so here is your 7 day plan, in sequence…

And by the way, Day 1 is today. Right here, right now, or rather… when you finish reading the exercise.

All right, let’s do this!…

Day 1 – The Physical Self

Your body is your temple. All of the other elements of your life are related, and this includes our physical selves. You only get one body, so let’s give a little something back to it…

Step 1: Drink a glass of water. Most headaches are dehydration, and so are the “afternoon blues.”

Step 2: Stretch your arms above your head and breathe deeply.

Step 3: Walk around the room, taking long strides.

Day 2 – Emotions and Meaning

Everyday we have emotional responses to one thing or another. Some responses are good for us, others are harmful and disruptive. Because there’s a crucial link between your state of mind and your state of health, the key here is to become a master of your emotions…

Step 1: Tell yourself you want to recognize the next time you experience a heightened emotional response (e.g. anger) so that you can identify it.

Step 2: When you recognize you’re having strong emotions and feelings, decide if it is a positive or negative feeling. Your body responds to the way you think and feel. So if you are having a negative emotion, this can have a negative effect on your body.

Step 3: If you are experiencing a negative emotion, give yourself permission to let that feeling go.

Step 4: And now think of something that makes you feel happy or peaceful. There is research that having a positive outlook can improve your quality of life and boost your health.

Day 3 – Relationships

Relationships are made up of a thousand small moments of shared history. They are the things that help us identify our place in our family, our community and our world.

Step 1: Give your partner, spouse, or your best friend a seven-second hug.

Step 2: If you have kids, smile at them every time they walk in the room today.

Step 3: Smile at a stranger, and say good morning if you are feeling really brave!

Day 4 – Time

This is a difficult one for a lot of people, even more challenging than Emotions and Meaning, because we live in a world of “time poor” people and time is now a precious commodity, divided into tenths of seconds, rather than the movement of the sun across the sky.

Step 1: Tell yourself that doing “nothing” is valuable use of your time.

Step 2: Find somewhere quiet and let yourself daydream for a bit. Remember when you were a kid and you would stare happily at the ceiling for hours at a time? During this time, your brain displays some very interesting wave patterns, and it has been shown that kids who are allowed to daydream have higher IQs, are better able to concentrate and have less behavioral problems.

Day 5 – Career/Work

I’m not going to ask you to spend more time at the office! Instead I’m going to ask you to think carefully about whether your job (this extends to homemakers too) is bringing you all the rewards and joy you deserve.

Step 1: Make a small change to your working environment. Sit near a window, or take a 15 minute walk in your lunch break. Say good morning to someone you see all the time but never speak to.

Step 2: Let go of the stress. Breathe deeply and remember that fretting over things that haven’t happened yet will not help you achieve anything more quickly.

Day 6 – Finances

Lots of people are worried about money, especially now.

Money means freedom, and control over your life. Here’s the real rub with this definition of money… we can limit our options if we feel we have to make more more money to have that control, because you can have control over your financial life without needing to earn more – you simply need to look honestly at exactly what you have and what you do now.

Step 1: If you don’t have a budget, or if you don’t stick to one, begin today. Keep a financial diary and jot down everything you spend in a single day.

Step 2: Create a budget that works for YOU. One person I know loves to treat her friends. She can’t help it, she is always picking up the tab for after-work drinks. Yet her budget works! How? She is honest about her habits, and budgets a certain amount of money each week for treating other people. Once she reaches that limit, her weekly generosity is cut off. Simple.

Step 3: Take control of the small expenses: Walk to work, make birthday and holiday cards with your kids, turn off the heat in rooms you aren’t using. It’s not just the money you save that will help here, it’s the return of personal power – you can control your money.

Day 7 – Greater Contribution and Spirituality

This doesn’t necessarily mean religion, although that’s certainly part of it if you go to a place of worship. This is the area of your life that is about enjoying the spiritual rewards of your Personal Renaissance. This is the day when you stop to smell the flowers, to be grateful for the good things in your life, and to celebrate in whatever way is meaningful for you.

Step 1: Before you jump out of bed as soon as you wake up, take five minutes to stretch, wriggle your toes and smile. Even if you need to fake a smile, that’s fine. Endorphins (the feel-good chemicals in the brain) are released every time you smile, even if it is forced. Your body really does want you to be happy!

Step 2: Begin the day thinking about the people closest to you. Really thinking about them: How they feel, how they look, how their life might be right now.

Step 3: No matter how you spend your day, try to collect ten things you appreciate: Mental snapshots of gratitude – like the smell of coffee at your favorite cafe or of flowers in your garden,  a warm shower … or the garbage bin not needing to be emptied! Review these tonight as you go to sleep – instead of worrying about the bad things.

And that’s it.

Seven days and Seven Vital Pillars of Life that bring you closer to your Personal Renaissance. You have the power to be happy and paying attention to all seven pillars of a whole and balanced life will make you happier than you thought possible.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…

Ciao!

Taylor

P. S. A post or two ago you may have noticed I hinted I’ve got something in store for you. Well, I’m now putting finishing touches on it. So leave the best comment and you’ll get a copy.

Hi,

You have probably already realized we are more than half-way through the year. And whether or not you make formal new years resolutions or set goals for the new year, we all have at least a few things we hope to achieve before the year draws to a close, right?

So I wonder …what’s cooking with you? And it’s perfectly OK to share what’s not cooking or what you’d like to change.

Ciao!

Taylor

The fly that didn't break the habit

The other morning I was pouring myself some juice, and something on the window sill caught my attention.

I hadn’t noticed it the night before so I took a closer look.

A fly.

A fly turned on its back.

Obviously dead.

I didn’t give it a second thought until I had a different thought…

We didn’t keep any poison, so why the dead fly?

Maybe because it died in a struggle.

Perhaps the fly kept trying to make its escape, doing what it was doing…

…until it could do no further.

It was up against the window.

That’s right, fly versus window. And you know who won.

See no matter how much the fly bumped up against the window, it would never succeed.

It would never break through.

Unless it changed something.

Can I ask you to imagine how the fly could have made its escape?

You probably guessed several ways, including this one…

For the better part of the day, there was an open window nearby.

Freedom was literally just around the corner.

The fly was so close to freedom, yet so far.

Now imagine the things  that we do, sometimes without even realizing them, that hold you back…

Just like bumping up against that window.

And no matter how hard you fight it, you just get more and more tired…

Frustrated, overwhelmed, and more overwhelmed.

Until finally you throw in the towel because you’re not getting where you want to go.

You give up because there’s no exit in sight. Exasperated because there are no results on the horizon.

But is that true?

Now you can thank the things that we do that are standing in our way…

Like obstacles preventing us from achieving what we want or what we say we want.

And even though these are usually imaginary obstacles, they might as well be real because they have the same effect as a real ones…

…they block and trap you just the same, keeping you from all that you are meant to be and what you are meant to do.

Or you can do something about it, because even the fly had options, didn’t it?

So, what would a different fly have had to do to break free?

Here are a few ideas… Change strategy. Try a different route. Get some distance from the problem. Look at the situation from a different point of view. Think in a new way.

That’s a lot to ask of a fly.

Still, some flies manage to pull it off and break free because I’ve had plenty buzzing around my house before and haven’t found them lying around.

Maybe you are wondering what things stand in your own way.

What can you clear out of the way so you have more energy and passion to pursue those things most important to you?

What needs to change so you can have the freedom to live, the freedom to be happy?

Are the obstacles obvious? Then what will it take to clear them?

Not obvious? Well, what if you could identify them?

What would you do differently if you knew the answer is around the corner?

Remember, doing the same things over and over again and expecting to get a different result, like following the same recipe to bake a cheese cake but expecting brownies, is one man’s definition of insanity.

When you open your mind to the possibility certain things you are doing are destroying any chances of your success, destroying your quality of life, you can experience life at a whole new level. And it starts with changing your strategies.

So tell me, what habits do you need to break?

Ciao!

Taylor