Hi,

It’s amazing how small an agent of change can be…

For me, it recently was a tiny fruit fly that motivated me to make a change in my life.

I’ve talked about motivation in earlier posts; and what really gets you up and moving. This time for me-of all things-it was bugs near my fruit bowl.

Picture this… It’s summertime, and fruit flies are multiplying all over the joint! Naturally we’re to blame because we see so many delicious fruits and can’t resist piling it up in the kitchen…

…And wouldn’t you know these eager little critters can’t resist helping us eat it.

See, the “fruit fly situation” in my house just got unbearable. Actually, out of control. They gravitate towards anything that has even a hint of sweetness or sugar to it.

They converge onto a spoon.

If you leave a bottle of wine open, they swarm to the rim or just plunge right in.

I forgot how quickly these suckers can procreate and multiply.

…It kind of makes me want to brush up on my biology 101 to see how long it actually takes them to create more offspring. I’d say it’s about fifteen seconds? And BAM!, a thousand more pesky Drosophila Melanogasters now fluffing around my fruit bowl.

Anyway, as I was saying, you get that it got a little out of control, right? It reaches the point where they are everywhere. They’re in your face, you walk out of the kitchen to the living room or wherever, and there they are, fruit flies galore, more friendly little guys waiting for you.

You finish putting away the dishes, head on over to the living room to ease into the couch, and there again, more fruit flies swarming around hunting for their next meal. So just when I am kind of at my wit’s end-at my turning point really-my wife has the great simple suggestion of putting the fruit in the fridge.

This is why wives were invented…

…We get ourselves all tangled up, then along comes your beloved and points out the blindingly obvious!

I took her advice (all the while telling her I would have thought of it myself at any moment) and lo and behold, within the span of a few days, we dramatically cut back on the fruit fly population.

Now think back to what we talked about in a quiz some time ago on what makes us do the things we know we shouldn’t be doing – instead of doing the things we should be doing…

Let me ask you again, what is it that makes one person stay on course and keeps another person off track?

Remember?

The answer was “motivation.”

Why did the fruit flies bother me so much? The answer to that isn’t really important. What’s more important is that they bothered me enough that I reached a tipping point-the point at which my momentum for change was unstoppable-and suddenly I was motivated to do something about it.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then motivation is the father of change. I was motivated to save my fruit. Not to throw it away (I like fruit!), but to eat it and to share it-just not with the fruit flies. And truth be told, I also wanted to save my sanity.

And there is the basic principle:

Something bothers you, perhaps for a long time without you being consciously aware of it.

Then in a single moment you cross a threshold.

Now your problem has new meaning, and you begin to call the solution to you. And presto, life change!

Something to think about isn’t it?

…I’d love to hear about a similar experience you’ve had.

Ciao!

Taylor

Did you know that from the moment sharks are born, they never stop swimming, even when they are asleep?

Okay, sharks may not be the first thing you think of when you are asked about role models. Let’s face it though; sharks have been around much longer than man or any other mammal, maybe as much as 400 million years. To me this says they’re doing something right.

And they never stop moving forward. I think it’s a good metaphor for life: even if you’re only moving forward slowly, it’s vital to always keep moving.

Change doesn’t need to be hard: In fact, it’s better if it’s easy, and pleasurable, don’t you think?

Let’s say you want to lose 100 lbs (I like round numbers!)…

A hundred pounds, phew that’s a lot of hard work. It’s probably going to make you feel miserable for a long time, and I’m guessing you will only feel good about it you’ve lost it all, right?

Wrong!

Put aside the one hundred pounds for a minute…

And let’s dig into something that will help you get there (remember, this is just an example)…

Why not pick up a new recipe – perhaps one that uses ingredients low in saturated fats and is as fast to prepare as ordering takeout? Or maybe ask the person at the deli counter how they make that delicious Tuscan bean salad.

Prepare it, enjoy it, and then CELEBRATE!

…Buy yourself something that you absolutely love, like a brand-new book by your favorite author. Some new clothes. Call your friends and invite them over for drinks. Go completely over the top about how you celebrate achieving this first goal. I’m serious.

Make the change pleasurable.

Reward the good changes that you make.

This reminds me of a while back…

One of my mentors pointed out something to me that was so obvious and yet not so obvious…

What he told me is that if one day you’re making $10 and the next day you make $20, you’ve just doubled how much you make (or if you like percentages, that’s a two hundred percent increase). And no matter how small the amount might seem, you should celebrate.

That kind of got my attention. And even though in his example he used money, you can easily apply this to weight loss, relationships, your career and so on. I wonder if it will make you smile?

…Now back to reaching your goal, “rinse and repeat”… do it again… make another small improvement.

What I’ve just described pretty much sums up “AGAI” – one of my personal philosophies – Always Grow and Improve in the seven key areas of life. Do this and you will get the most juice out of life.

See, a tree doesn’t become 50 feet tall overnight. It works slowly at unfurling the seedling, throwing out some new shoots, beginning to make branches.

And all the while, it is aiming towards the light. It hardly sabotages itself by thinking “I’m too small, weak or dumb to become a tree from only this tiny seed.”

A tree just naturally strives to be as tall and strong as it is meant to be. A tree is always growing growing.

And so must you to live an extraordinary life.

Now I can almost hear you say it is sometimes necessary to take time out for reflection and understanding. And you’re right. The key is after that begin to pick up the pieces and go on with our lives, avoiding letting a pause turn into complacency or defeat.

One way I think of it… is if you are not growing, well, there’s really no other way to say it, you’re dieing. Now I’m not saying get out there and climb the highest mountain or swim the deepest ocean. Perhaps you can take it one step at a time, like biting small chunks out of one area of life each and every day. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day!

So maybe one day you can work on your breathing when find your temper boils up. Perhaps you can give a dirty bathroom a good cleaning every Saturday instead of putting it off until what you really need is a Hazmat team. And smile more often throughout the day saying goodbye to a frown (your mood follows your body). Or stick to the issue in an argument, instead of trying to score points dragging in other problems. And practice saying “no” more often if you are taken advantage of.

Small improvements… yes. And yet you can see how they add up, can’t you?

Imagine 365 improvements at the end of the year across the seven key areas of your life:

Three hundred and sixty five ways that you are growing, becoming even more interesting, and experiencing life at a new level.

Always Grow and Improve.

Ciao!

Taylor

Hi,

You have probably already realized we are more than half-way through the year. And whether or not you make formal new years resolutions or set goals for the new year, we all have at least a few things we hope to achieve before the year draws to a close, right?

So I wonder …what’s cooking with you? And it’s perfectly OK to share what’s not cooking or what you’d like to change.

Ciao!

Taylor

I welcome your comments.

Ciao!

Taylor

Today I want to share something that was truly beautiful, and is related to goal setting…

Part of me says you had to be there, but when you read this, you be the judge.

There I am stuck in traffic, waiting for my turn at the stoplight, which as it happens is flashing red, so we all have to wait our turns to get where we’re headed.

When my turn comes up, I hit the gas. I’ve barely gone a few hundred yards and I notice there is a small animal ahead and to my right. Yep, I was right… it’s a fox!

My heart skips a beat.

I’m surprised. Concerned. Hopeful.

It’s almost like a perfect scene from a movie, where the director has carefully staged this moment.

So there’s the fox…

A beautiful, reddish-brown fox. She’s  nodding her head back and forth–and with it, shaking something that’s hanging out of her mouth–studying traffic, calculating how she is going to cross the road.

This is all happening in a matter of seconds. I see her, the fox, I have my thoughts, and immediately worry whether the car quickly approaching me from the left has spotted the fox too.

And yes, luckily, the car next to me also pauses.

And that is when it happens…

The fox sees her opportunity. She knows it’s her chance.

Bird in mouth, she crosses my two lanes, and then two more lanes of traffic which catch on to what’s going on  and also slow down she quickly approaches.

Yes-she made it!

And you can almost hear the crowd cheering.

I’m somewhat emotionally caught up just telling you this story for several reasons.

It’s a story of determination.

It’s a story of knowing what your outcome is and being clear on your goal.

It’s a story of motivation.

I was worried for the fox. I was rooting for her. Hoping she would successfully make it across the road, which of course meant others would have to notice her too and allow her to have a safe journey.

I can only imagine what was going on in her mind.

Perhaps she was focused on getting her little ones some food. And watching her with there holding a bird in her mouth, preparing to take a feast to her little ones, was a sight to be seen.

And so I was touched by the fox, I had respect, compassion, and a host of other feelings about this experience, about this determined mother knowing clearly what she wanted to go after and going for it.

Now you might question this and say it has nothing to do with goal setting strategies and that the animal was acting out of pure instincts.

Whatever the case might be, she reminded me of an important lesson and made me contemplate this valuable experience.

Her reminder was if you really want something, you get yourself in the right mind set, you understand what it is that motivates you, and you do what’s necessary to go after your goal.

See, the fox was on a mission. She was clear on her outcome. She knew what she had to do.

And she was determined to do whatever it takes to reach her destination.

She was highly motivated. Not getting her goal would mean that her little ones would starve. And that wasn’t an option in her book.

The fox knew what she wanted, she was clear on her goal. And she had a good reason why. No question about that.

In her book, that’s how you cross the road. And that’s exactly what she did.

Who would have thought you can learn goal setting techniques from a mother fox?

Ciao!

Taylor Coburn