What would it be like to get away from it all, now?

Let me explain…

We recently returned from a vacation.

There was a time when a vacation used to be a luxury. Today though for many it has become a necessity.

Have you ever come back from vacation feeling you already need another one? You’re not alone.

It’s been shown in several studies that a respite from work decreases burnout and improves your mood and physical well-being. No surprise here. But what is interesting is the same studies show the healthful effects don’t last long – sometimes just a few weeks, if that long.

…that’s why it’s so nice to get away every few months!

Okay, back to the day-to-day again… I am reminded of the power of a good vacation and I figured why not let’s dig into the subject a bit.

Vacations can change your life-if not literally save it altogether, as you’ll find out here later-and give you the tools you need to bring about the rebirth we’ve talked about which you now know as your Personal Renaissance.

So there I am at a cafe… A woman next to me ordering a cappuccino tells me she’s enjoying part of a mandatory (read: legally required) six-week-long vacation. And she also gets double pay while on vacation to counter the extra spending that vacations involve.

Forced leisure. Reminds me of a while back…

… at the time, I was burning the candle at both ends. Everyone except me knew I needed a break. And finally the company’s CEO came right out and told me “You really need a vacation! Take a week off and go somewhere.”

You can probably imagine the look on my face. I made a fuss. Some bet that I would find a way to not go on vacation. Nonetheless, I researched some travel deals.

It was last minute travel so I figured I might have to pay through the nose. But I lucked out and found a nice get away vacation package. So the following week, my bags packed, off to the tropics I went.

At first all I could think of was work. And I resisted the idea that I would enjoy a bit of relax.

A little voice in my head kept wondering “Why couldn’t I just stay and work some more?”

A couple of days later, things changed…

After obviously not being at the office, I was away not only in the body, but now also in the mind.

I didn’t take any work with me. I didn’t allow people to contact me.

I restricted myself to restorative, out-of-cellphone-range pursuits.

And surely enough I came to experience the positive effects a holiday can have on your health and well-being.

When a staff member at the resort asked me how I was enjoying my stay, I confessed “I’m starting to feel like a new me!”

Long nature walks with my girlfriend (yes, I whisked her away too) and deep breaths of fresh air renovated my being.

A few trips to the spa and afternoon swims revitalized my body and lifted my spirits.

Light and flavorful meals satisfied my taste buds and nourished me more than I’d done for myself the past year or so having breakfast, lunch and dinner …at McDonalds of all places (it was, after all, right next door to my office).

I remember thinking the business would struggle without me, and that I was indispensable. Another part of me worried someone else down the hall would learn how to do my job.

But you probably already guessed the truth… the business survived without me and all ended well.

For sure, there were several work-related lessons. Including that even though it was hard to relinquish control, on some level I demonstrated that I controlled my work instead of the other way around.

The vacation – in this case a beach vacation – gave me needed balance. It also gave me the opportunity to remember there is more to life than work, and I used that chance to make some important decisions affecting other areas of my life.

When I got back to work, I got a warm welcome. My newfound energy was contagious. I got back into the swing of things with more fire and gusto. Asked how my vacation was, I piped that “If vacation can have this kind of effect, bring them on!”

We probably both know lots of people who can’t seem to get themselves to break away from the office.

All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy they say. It also makes you unsuccessful. The fact is that a good vacation can do wonders for every area of your life.

Now before we move on to Part 2, I would looove to read your comments and find out how you feel about what we talked about here in Part 1.

Ciao!

Taylor

Hi,

It’s amazing how small an agent of change can be…

For me, it recently was a tiny fruit fly that motivated me to make a change in my life.

I’ve talked about motivation in earlier posts; and what really gets you up and moving. This time for me-of all things-it was bugs near my fruit bowl.

Picture this… It’s summertime, and fruit flies are multiplying all over the joint! Naturally we’re to blame because we see so many delicious fruits and can’t resist piling it up in the kitchen…

…And wouldn’t you know these eager little critters can’t resist helping us eat it.

See, the “fruit fly situation” in my house just got unbearable. Actually, out of control. They gravitate towards anything that has even a hint of sweetness or sugar to it.

They converge onto a spoon.

If you leave a bottle of wine open, they swarm to the rim or just plunge right in.

I forgot how quickly these suckers can procreate and multiply.

…It kind of makes me want to brush up on my biology 101 to see how long it actually takes them to create more offspring. I’d say it’s about fifteen seconds? And BAM!, a thousand more pesky Drosophila Melanogasters now fluffing around my fruit bowl.

Anyway, as I was saying, you get that it got a little out of control, right? It reaches the point where they are everywhere. They’re in your face, you walk out of the kitchen to the living room or wherever, and there they are, fruit flies galore, more friendly little guys waiting for you.

You finish putting away the dishes, head on over to the living room to ease into the couch, and there again, more fruit flies swarming around hunting for their next meal. So just when I am kind of at my wit’s end-at my turning point really-my wife has the great simple suggestion of putting the fruit in the fridge.

This is why wives were invented…

…We get ourselves all tangled up, then along comes your beloved and points out the blindingly obvious!

I took her advice (all the while telling her I would have thought of it myself at any moment) and lo and behold, within the span of a few days, we dramatically cut back on the fruit fly population.

Now think back to what we talked about in a quiz some time ago on what makes us do the things we know we shouldn’t be doing – instead of doing the things we should be doing…

Let me ask you again, what is it that makes one person stay on course and keeps another person off track?

Remember?

The answer was “motivation.”

Why did the fruit flies bother me so much? The answer to that isn’t really important. What’s more important is that they bothered me enough that I reached a tipping point-the point at which my momentum for change was unstoppable-and suddenly I was motivated to do something about it.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then motivation is the father of change. I was motivated to save my fruit. Not to throw it away (I like fruit!), but to eat it and to share it-just not with the fruit flies. And truth be told, I also wanted to save my sanity.

And there is the basic principle:

Something bothers you, perhaps for a long time without you being consciously aware of it.

Then in a single moment you cross a threshold.

Now your problem has new meaning, and you begin to call the solution to you. And presto, life change!

Something to think about isn’t it?

…I’d love to hear about a similar experience you’ve had.

Ciao!

Taylor

Did you know that from the moment sharks are born, they never stop swimming, even when they are asleep?

Okay, sharks may not be the first thing you think of when you are asked about role models. Let’s face it though; sharks have been around much longer than man or any other mammal, maybe as much as 400 million years. To me this says they’re doing something right.

And they never stop moving forward. I think it’s a good metaphor for life: even if you’re only moving forward slowly, it’s vital to always keep moving.

Change doesn’t need to be hard: In fact, it’s better if it’s easy, and pleasurable, don’t you think?

Let’s say you want to lose 100 lbs (I like round numbers!)…

A hundred pounds, phew that’s a lot of hard work. It’s probably going to make you feel miserable for a long time, and I’m guessing you will only feel good about it you’ve lost it all, right?

Wrong!

Put aside the one hundred pounds for a minute…

And let’s dig into something that will help you get there (remember, this is just an example)…

Why not pick up a new recipe – perhaps one that uses ingredients low in saturated fats and is as fast to prepare as ordering takeout? Or maybe ask the person at the deli counter how they make that delicious Tuscan bean salad.

Prepare it, enjoy it, and then CELEBRATE!

…Buy yourself something that you absolutely love, like a brand-new book by your favorite author. Some new clothes. Call your friends and invite them over for drinks. Go completely over the top about how you celebrate achieving this first goal. I’m serious.

Make the change pleasurable.

Reward the good changes that you make.

This reminds me of a while back…

One of my mentors pointed out something to me that was so obvious and yet not so obvious…

What he told me is that if one day you’re making $10 and the next day you make $20, you’ve just doubled how much you make (or if you like percentages, that’s a two hundred percent increase). And no matter how small the amount might seem, you should celebrate.

That kind of got my attention. And even though in his example he used money, you can easily apply this to weight loss, relationships, your career and so on. I wonder if it will make you smile?

…Now back to reaching your goal, “rinse and repeat”… do it again… make another small improvement.

What I’ve just described pretty much sums up “AGAI” – one of my personal philosophies – Always Grow and Improve in the seven key areas of life. Do this and you will get the most juice out of life.

See, a tree doesn’t become 50 feet tall overnight. It works slowly at unfurling the seedling, throwing out some new shoots, beginning to make branches.

And all the while, it is aiming towards the light. It hardly sabotages itself by thinking “I’m too small, weak or dumb to become a tree from only this tiny seed.”

A tree just naturally strives to be as tall and strong as it is meant to be. A tree is always growing growing.

And so must you to live an extraordinary life.

Now I can almost hear you say it is sometimes necessary to take time out for reflection and understanding. And you’re right. The key is after that begin to pick up the pieces and go on with our lives, avoiding letting a pause turn into complacency or defeat.

One way I think of it… is if you are not growing, well, there’s really no other way to say it, you’re dieing. Now I’m not saying get out there and climb the highest mountain or swim the deepest ocean. Perhaps you can take it one step at a time, like biting small chunks out of one area of life each and every day. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day!

So maybe one day you can work on your breathing when find your temper boils up. Perhaps you can give a dirty bathroom a good cleaning every Saturday instead of putting it off until what you really need is a Hazmat team. And smile more often throughout the day saying goodbye to a frown (your mood follows your body). Or stick to the issue in an argument, instead of trying to score points dragging in other problems. And practice saying “no” more often if you are taken advantage of.

Small improvements… yes. And yet you can see how they add up, can’t you?

Imagine 365 improvements at the end of the year across the seven key areas of your life:

Three hundred and sixty five ways that you are growing, becoming even more interesting, and experiencing life at a new level.

Always Grow and Improve.

Ciao!

Taylor

You may have heard of the 7 Areas of Life?

If you’re new to the concept (welcome, by the way) the 7 Areas of Life are:

Money, Time, Relationships, Health, Emotions, Work or Career, and Greater Contribution.

Each of these 7 Areas are like pillars that support your happiness and well-being. When one is weak and crumbles, your well-being caves in.

If you sit back and think about it, you might agree that most of us work on one, two, or at best, three of these pillars, right?

Some pour their heart and soul into their jobs. Ever found yourself concentrating on your career …identifying yourself with your job title or how much you earn, only feeling fulfilled when your work life is going well? …I know I have.

Others focus predominantly on their relationships. For these people, family and friends are the most important of the seven Areas, and they do not feel like a whole person if they’re not always focused putting others first.

By now maybe you can see how you favor one or two Areas the most. And likewise you might just as easily have clear in your mind the Areas you neglect… say maybe your health (when you eat out a lot to save time and energy), your money (when you spend money on things you know you don’t really need) or maybe your relationships (if you get caught up in a rat race of life bound with responsibilities)?

Don’t feel bad about the Areas you neglect, because we all do it. Just promise me you’ll avoid making the mistake of assuming that two or three strong “pillars” will make up for the rest. Because if you do, sooner or later the roof of your inner house will cave in, there is no doubt (I’ve been there and got the t-shirt).

And maybe it already has caved in… Perhaps right now you as you read what I’m saying there’s an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of your stomach – the one that signals now is time to change some things in your life…

…time for your Personal Renaissance.

Remember the Renaissance? It was the complete social and cultural change that took place in Europe from the 14th to the 17th century. The Renaissance was a time of great leaps forward in politics, art and culture. It was also the  time when the Renaissance Man (or Person!) was first recognized as a role model for us all.

Renaissance literally means “rebirth” and a Renaissance Person is someone who is balanced. An “all-rounder” of a person, who is equally devoted to work and relaxation, art and science, discovering and creating, giving and receiving, the outer and inner world.

I bring this up because when you pay more attention to the 7 Areas of Life, you can experience a similar rebirth, as a more complete and happy person – your own 21st Century Personal Renaissance.

And the beauty of it is that you can kick off this process in just seven days.

Really.

Here’s how…

First I’m going to list the 7 Areas in order of importance…

Actually, that’s not quite right. One Area is no more important than another. And to tell you the truth, even that’s not totally accurate. But they do have a logical sequence…

For instance, there’s no point developing your higher mind if you are lethargic and depressed from bad food and lack of exercise.

Okay, so here is your 7 day plan, in sequence…

And by the way, Day 1 is today. Right here, right now, or rather… when you finish reading the exercise.

All right, let’s do this!…

Day 1 – The Physical Self

Your body is your temple. All of the other elements of your life are related, and this includes our physical selves. You only get one body, so let’s give a little something back to it…

Step 1: Drink a glass of water. Most headaches are dehydration, and so are the “afternoon blues.”

Step 2: Stretch your arms above your head and breathe deeply.

Step 3: Walk around the room, taking long strides.

Day 2 – Emotions and Meaning

Everyday we have emotional responses to one thing or another. Some responses are good for us, others are harmful and disruptive. Because there’s a crucial link between your state of mind and your state of health, the key here is to become a master of your emotions…

Step 1: Tell yourself you want to recognize the next time you experience a heightened emotional response (e.g. anger) so that you can identify it.

Step 2: When you recognize you’re having strong emotions and feelings, decide if it is a positive or negative feeling. Your body responds to the way you think and feel. So if you are having a negative emotion, this can have a negative effect on your body.

Step 3: If you are experiencing a negative emotion, give yourself permission to let that feeling go.

Step 4: And now think of something that makes you feel happy or peaceful. There is research that having a positive outlook can improve your quality of life and boost your health.

Day 3 – Relationships

Relationships are made up of a thousand small moments of shared history. They are the things that help us identify our place in our family, our community and our world.

Step 1: Give your partner, spouse, or your best friend a seven-second hug.

Step 2: If you have kids, smile at them every time they walk in the room today.

Step 3: Smile at a stranger, and say good morning if you are feeling really brave!

Day 4 – Time

This is a difficult one for a lot of people, even more challenging than Emotions and Meaning, because we live in a world of “time poor” people and time is now a precious commodity, divided into tenths of seconds, rather than the movement of the sun across the sky.

Step 1: Tell yourself that doing “nothing” is valuable use of your time.

Step 2: Find somewhere quiet and let yourself daydream for a bit. Remember when you were a kid and you would stare happily at the ceiling for hours at a time? During this time, your brain displays some very interesting wave patterns, and it has been shown that kids who are allowed to daydream have higher IQs, are better able to concentrate and have less behavioral problems.

Day 5 – Career/Work

I’m not going to ask you to spend more time at the office! Instead I’m going to ask you to think carefully about whether your job (this extends to homemakers too) is bringing you all the rewards and joy you deserve.

Step 1: Make a small change to your working environment. Sit near a window, or take a 15 minute walk in your lunch break. Say good morning to someone you see all the time but never speak to.

Step 2: Let go of the stress. Breathe deeply and remember that fretting over things that haven’t happened yet will not help you achieve anything more quickly.

Day 6 – Finances

Lots of people are worried about money, especially now.

Money means freedom, and control over your life. Here’s the real rub with this definition of money… we can limit our options if we feel we have to make more more money to have that control, because you can have control over your financial life without needing to earn more – you simply need to look honestly at exactly what you have and what you do now.

Step 1: If you don’t have a budget, or if you don’t stick to one, begin today. Keep a financial diary and jot down everything you spend in a single day.

Step 2: Create a budget that works for YOU. One person I know loves to treat her friends. She can’t help it, she is always picking up the tab for after-work drinks. Yet her budget works! How? She is honest about her habits, and budgets a certain amount of money each week for treating other people. Once she reaches that limit, her weekly generosity is cut off. Simple.

Step 3: Take control of the small expenses: Walk to work, make birthday and holiday cards with your kids, turn off the heat in rooms you aren’t using. It’s not just the money you save that will help here, it’s the return of personal power – you can control your money.

Day 7 – Greater Contribution and Spirituality

This doesn’t necessarily mean religion, although that’s certainly part of it if you go to a place of worship. This is the area of your life that is about enjoying the spiritual rewards of your Personal Renaissance. This is the day when you stop to smell the flowers, to be grateful for the good things in your life, and to celebrate in whatever way is meaningful for you.

Step 1: Before you jump out of bed as soon as you wake up, take five minutes to stretch, wriggle your toes and smile. Even if you need to fake a smile, that’s fine. Endorphins (the feel-good chemicals in the brain) are released every time you smile, even if it is forced. Your body really does want you to be happy!

Step 2: Begin the day thinking about the people closest to you. Really thinking about them: How they feel, how they look, how their life might be right now.

Step 3: No matter how you spend your day, try to collect ten things you appreciate: Mental snapshots of gratitude – like the smell of coffee at your favorite cafe or of flowers in your garden,  a warm shower … or the garbage bin not needing to be emptied! Review these tonight as you go to sleep – instead of worrying about the bad things.

And that’s it.

Seven days and Seven Vital Pillars of Life that bring you closer to your Personal Renaissance. You have the power to be happy and paying attention to all seven pillars of a whole and balanced life will make you happier than you thought possible.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this…

Ciao!

Taylor

P. S. A post or two ago you may have noticed I hinted I’ve got something in store for you. Well, I’m now putting finishing touches on it. So leave the best comment and you’ll get a copy.

Hi,

You have probably already realized we are more than half-way through the year. And whether or not you make formal new years resolutions or set goals for the new year, we all have at least a few things we hope to achieve before the year draws to a close, right?

So I wonder …what’s cooking with you? And it’s perfectly OK to share what’s not cooking or what you’d like to change.

Ciao!

Taylor

I welcome your comments.

Ciao!

Taylor

The fly that didn't break the habit

The other morning I was pouring myself some juice, and something on the window sill caught my attention.

I hadn’t noticed it the night before so I took a closer look.

A fly.

A fly turned on its back.

Obviously dead.

I didn’t give it a second thought until I had a different thought…

We didn’t keep any poison, so why the dead fly?

Maybe because it died in a struggle.

Perhaps the fly kept trying to make its escape, doing what it was doing…

…until it could do no further.

It was up against the window.

That’s right, fly versus window. And you know who won.

See no matter how much the fly bumped up against the window, it would never succeed.

It would never break through.

Unless it changed something.

Can I ask you to imagine how the fly could have made its escape?

You probably guessed several ways, including this one…

For the better part of the day, there was an open window nearby.

Freedom was literally just around the corner.

The fly was so close to freedom, yet so far.

Now imagine the things  that we do, sometimes without even realizing them, that hold you back…

Just like bumping up against that window.

And no matter how hard you fight it, you just get more and more tired…

Frustrated, overwhelmed, and more overwhelmed.

Until finally you throw in the towel because you’re not getting where you want to go.

You give up because there’s no exit in sight. Exasperated because there are no results on the horizon.

But is that true?

Now you can thank the things that we do that are standing in our way…

Like obstacles preventing us from achieving what we want or what we say we want.

And even though these are usually imaginary obstacles, they might as well be real because they have the same effect as a real ones…

…they block and trap you just the same, keeping you from all that you are meant to be and what you are meant to do.

Or you can do something about it, because even the fly had options, didn’t it?

So, what would a different fly have had to do to break free?

Here are a few ideas… Change strategy. Try a different route. Get some distance from the problem. Look at the situation from a different point of view. Think in a new way.

That’s a lot to ask of a fly.

Still, some flies manage to pull it off and break free because I’ve had plenty buzzing around my house before and haven’t found them lying around.

Maybe you are wondering what things stand in your own way.

What can you clear out of the way so you have more energy and passion to pursue those things most important to you?

What needs to change so you can have the freedom to live, the freedom to be happy?

Are the obstacles obvious? Then what will it take to clear them?

Not obvious? Well, what if you could identify them?

What would you do differently if you knew the answer is around the corner?

Remember, doing the same things over and over again and expecting to get a different result, like following the same recipe to bake a cheese cake but expecting brownies, is one man’s definition of insanity.

When you open your mind to the possibility certain things you are doing are destroying any chances of your success, destroying your quality of life, you can experience life at a whole new level. And it starts with changing your strategies.

So tell me, what habits do you need to break?

Ciao!

Taylor

First, before anything… have you watched my latest videos and did you give me feedback? If not, do it now.

OK, with that out of the way… I made this recording for you on the run.

My goal in this update was to explore the subject of what holds us back.

Whatever your purpose in life, I wonder what patterns you can find. Patterns are clues. Patterns are opportunities. Imagine the changes you can make when you listen now.

I hope it will make you want to leave feedback.

Ciao!

Taylor