In this video I talk about our beliefs and the power they have to influence our behaviors. I also touch on the ideas of limiting beliefs and driving beliefs, that is beliefs which may be limiting us from having or experiencing all we can, and beliefs that drive, therefore explain, certain behaviors we engage in or actions we take that may bring us closer to or move us further away from our goals, often without our even being aware of it.

Feel free to share any of your limiting or driving beliefs from one or more of of the seven areas of life we’ve talked about before (beliefs around Money, Time, Relationships, Health, Emotions, Work or Career, and Spirituality or Greater Contribution) and we can explore this in more depth in another update, OK?

A long time ago, before I was able to really get it and was clueless about the meaning of life, a mentor of mine said:

“Taylor…we all get the same amount of time!”

No matter how simple and profound this statement is, at the time, his words didn’t sink in.

But as the years went by, I’d hear those words a few more times. Returning like a refrain, I’d slowly appreciate this song.

See, there’s a thing with people who live their dreams, people who lead extraordinary lives. These folks have mastered the simple truth about time–that we all get the same amount of time.

…And they know something else too…

That it’s what you do with your time that gets you different results from everyone else.

That how you spend your time determines your future.

Now if you’re like me, that probably sounds elementary. But on some level it’s hard to disagree, right?

It’s time to get this out in the open… People who live a richer, more fulfilling life in every sense of the word, realize it’s not about needing more time. Let’s face it… We all have all the time we’re ever going to get. So the secret is in how you use that time, how you leverage time.

When someone has an issue with time, often we’ll talk about their relationship with time.

Not surprisingly, they’ll tell me they don’t have enough time to do this that or the other. I mean really, ask a random person at the grocery store… it’s rare to find anyone who has time to do anything. Or is it?

They like money, but they don’t have time to get organized to make more money.

They say they wish they were in better shape, but they don’t have time to eat healthier or to take better care of themselves physically or emotionally.

They dream of better relationships, but they don’t have time to create strong, long-lasting bonds.

They describe in detail what they hate about their current job, but they don’t have time to think of a more rewarding line of work or to design a career they can be passionate about.

Sometimes we talk about how things take effort. But mostly it’s about how things take time.

In a way, it’s funny. Because if you ask them to journal how they spend their time, they make some amazing discoveries.

When someone first told me about journaling, I couldn’t help but think of a large, worn-in, leather-bound journal. Like an artist’s sketchbook or something. But the fact is you can journal on a small pad you keep in your back pocket or purse, on your computer, iphone, or whatever way makes you most comfortable. And when you make it a habit to keep a journal of how you spend your time, you too will see patterns in what you do with your time–those precious hours, days, months and years of your life.

And so when on the one hand they say “I’m so busy… I don’t have time…” and then on the other hand they see right there in black and white what it is they’re actually busy doing, it’s quite eye-opening, and at times down-right shocking.

For example, just imagine their surprise when they realize how many hours they spend watching television…

A.C. Nielsen Co. reported the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (in reality, the TV is on more than that, an average of 6 hours, 47 minutes each day)

Why not try some simple math…

4 hours a day is 28 hours a week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year. 60 days of nonstop TV a year.

In a 65-year life, someone watching this much TV will have spent 9 years glued to the tube–more time today considering people are living longer. Tell me if that’s not alarming. Maybe it’s a wake up call.

Now, depending on what kind of television they watch, there may be some educational value to it. You know …if they’re watching things like the History Channel or the Discovery Channel.

And that’s just picking a classic example, people watching television hours and hours a day, wasting their gifts and lives in front of the television.

Listen, I used to be busy too. In fact, I still am quite often. At times you might have even seen me wearing “busyness” (is that a word?) almost as if it were a badge of honor.

Yes, I used to enjoy being busy.  The busier I was, the better I felt.

But that was a superficial feeling of fulfillment.

At a much deeper level, truth be told, I was far from satisfied with the things that were keeping me busy.

So there I was “busy”…

You know, there’s a thing about being busy…

When you are busy, you can get nowhere real fast.

Busy, busy, busy, at work. Or busy, busy, busy at home with the kids. Busy, maybe feeling like you’re a hamster on the hamster wheel. Busy getting tired, burning out.

Busy like our dogs running around in circles, chasing their tails.

That’s when along the road, another mentor taught this dog a new trick… Anyway, let me stay focused here…

What do you say let’s do a quickie quiz?

I’m giving away a prize, naturally.

And to make it relevant to the subject at hand, how about access to my Personal Renaissance group coaching and mentoring program to the first right answer?

Sound good?

Okay. Here’s the quiz:

You know people have goals. Spoken personal goals, the ones they’ll openly and easily share. And unspoken ones-goals maybe they would rather keep to themselves or don’t typically realize they have.

You probably even know a person or two who’s told you they have this or that goal. And yet in the same breath they also will painfully share that they don’t have time to work toward their goal because of how busy they are doing one thing or another.

You also know we all get the same amount of time. So if you take 2 random people who both have a goal of losing the same amount of weight and one of them gets to the gym 3 times a week and the other doesn’t, it isn’t because the first has more time.

So here’s the Big Question for today’s quiz:

What is it that makes someone who has a goal, clear or hazy, spoken or unspoken, as it may be, engage in logic-defying acts, squandering precious time when instead they could be taking action in support of their goals?

Why the self sabotage?

What is at the root of our self defeating behaviors?

Is it procrastination, fear …or something deeper?

What’s the key intrinsic reason why we do what we do instead of what we know we should do in support of our goals?

Toss your hat into the ring.

Well?

There IS a single answer.

Do you know what it is?

Be the first to nail it in the comments section, and you win entry into my coaching program, “Personal Renaissance.”

Okay… go.

Answer (and winner announced) Wednesday afternoon.

Good luck.

Ciao!

Taylor

Just the other day, there I was at a local coffee house sipping on my warm beverage.

I’m doing my thing and something grabs my attention…

A sign reads:

“Want a better cup of coffee? Then brew with better beans.”

If you’re a coffee lover, you might be nodding your head and thinking “right on!”

And even if you don’t drink it, this statement about coffee actually is a valuable lesson about life in general.

Follow me…

Basically, a lot of times there are things going on in our lives that we’re not happy with. And yet the obvious is elusive. That thing that should be obvious is actually not so obvious to us.

What has this got to do with better coffee? Everything…

See, if there’s something going on in your life you’re not happy about, change what you’re doing.

If life is a cup of coffee and you want it to taste better, you might try brewing with better beans.

Really it’s about feedback and what you do with it. There are lots of other things you could test too, like using a different sweetener, different water or even just cleaning out your cofee pot once and a while.

Ciao!

Taylor

The fly that didn't break the habit

The other morning I was pouring myself some juice, and something on the window sill caught my attention.

I hadn’t noticed it the night before so I took a closer look.

A fly.

A fly turned on its back.

Obviously dead.

I didn’t give it a second thought until I had a different thought…

We didn’t keep any poison, so why the dead fly?

Maybe because it died in a struggle.

Perhaps the fly kept trying to make its escape, doing what it was doing…

…until it could do no further.

It was up against the window.

That’s right, fly versus window. And you know who won.

See no matter how much the fly bumped up against the window, it would never succeed.

It would never break through.

Unless it changed something.

Can I ask you to imagine how the fly could have made its escape?

You probably guessed several ways, including this one…

For the better part of the day, there was an open window nearby.

Freedom was literally just around the corner.

The fly was so close to freedom, yet so far.

Now imagine the things  that we do, sometimes without even realizing them, that hold you back…

Just like bumping up against that window.

And no matter how hard you fight it, you just get more and more tired…

Frustrated, overwhelmed, and more overwhelmed.

Until finally you throw in the towel because you’re not getting where you want to go.

You give up because there’s no exit in sight. Exasperated because there are no results on the horizon.

But is that true?

Now you can thank the things that we do that are standing in our way…

Like obstacles preventing us from achieving what we want or what we say we want.

And even though these are usually imaginary obstacles, they might as well be real because they have the same effect as a real ones…

…they block and trap you just the same, keeping you from all that you are meant to be and what you are meant to do.

Or you can do something about it, because even the fly had options, didn’t it?

So, what would a different fly have had to do to break free?

Here are a few ideas… Change strategy. Try a different route. Get some distance from the problem. Look at the situation from a different point of view. Think in a new way.

That’s a lot to ask of a fly.

Still, some flies manage to pull it off and break free because I’ve had plenty buzzing around my house before and haven’t found them lying around.

Maybe you are wondering what things stand in your own way.

What can you clear out of the way so you have more energy and passion to pursue those things most important to you?

What needs to change so you can have the freedom to live, the freedom to be happy?

Are the obstacles obvious? Then what will it take to clear them?

Not obvious? Well, what if you could identify them?

What would you do differently if you knew the answer is around the corner?

Remember, doing the same things over and over again and expecting to get a different result, like following the same recipe to bake a cheese cake but expecting brownies, is one man’s definition of insanity.

When you open your mind to the possibility certain things you are doing are destroying any chances of your success, destroying your quality of life, you can experience life at a whole new level. And it starts with changing your strategies.

So tell me, what habits do you need to break?

Ciao!

Taylor